Let’s talk about sex(ism)

What is sexism?

Depending on who you ask or what you google, there are a number of ways to define sexism:

  • “Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.” Oxford Languages 

  • “Sexism is linked to beliefs around the fundamental nature of women and men and the roles they should play in society.” Europa.eu

  • “Sexism can be a belief that one sex is superior to or more valuable than another sex.” Encyclopaedia Britannica

  • “Discrimination or devaluation based on a person's sex or gender, as in restricted job opportunities, especially such discrimination directed against women.” Dictionary.com

  • “Sexism is the belief that the members of one sex, usually women, are less intelligent or less capable than those of the other sex and need not be treated equally.” Collins Dictionary

So for the purposes of our understanding, I want to break sexism down and analyse it across 4 different areas.

  • Sexism and gender

  • Sexism and society

  • Sexism and language

  • Sexism and intersectionality

Sexism and Gender.

This seems like the easiest place for us to start when it comes to sexism, because gender and sex are so often conflated (remember: sex is what’s between your legs and gender is what’s between your ears!), and sexist attitudes will often stem from stereotypes of gendered roles.

From the definitions above it’s easy to see how both sex and gender play a part in how sexism presents in our every day lives. Because if we believe that either our sex or our gender (or both) has a part to play in how much value we hold in society, then treating people in accordance with that belief makes total sense. Except, as we know my aspiring allies, assessing someone’s worth based solely on an identity characteristic is absolute poppycock. No one person is better or worse than another, we are only different.

Except we do live in a society that is built upon patriarchy, and as such, our value has been determined for centuries on exactly that; various identity characteristics. In the hierarchy if history, it has been women that have been considered less than, and therefore, even with the progress that has been, and continues to be made, women are predominantly the victims of sexism. This takes many forms, including:

  • Sexist remarks (comments on the clothes/age/ability of women but not men)

  • Discrimination based on sex or gender (denying promotion opportunities due to perceived family commitments)

  • Physical sexist behaviour (remember those films from the 80’s where a male boss would pat his female secretary’s butt? Or maybe the CFO Steve, who only ever asks Sarah to take the notes?)

  • Extreme sexism in the form of sexual harassment and sexual violence (like upskirting and rape).

So, when it comes to sexism and gender specifically, we can think of it as a social order that systematically gives power to men and disempowers women (both cis and trans) and non-binary people.

Therefore, when women and non-binary people fail to comply with their assigned gender role, sexism is the tool (in words and acts) to make sure the social order is maintained.

Sexism and Society

As I’ve already said, we do live in a society that is built upon patriarchy, a social system of dominance designed to maintain power in the hands of the few who created it (wealthy, white, men). This does not mean that wealthy white men are a problem. But it does mean that the world was designed to work in their favour, and that they are less likely to face the same barriers to access, progress, and resources that people who are not wealthy white men will likely face. Patriarchy is a system, it’s not a person or people.

Given that we’ve been living within this system for centuries, it stands to reason then that sexism is generally a learned behaviour. It’s passed down from one generation to the next through traditions, customs, and practices. Women are assumed to be the primary care givers in most family units, because by and large, they are. It’s a historical tradition that was once unquestioned in many cultures. But nowadays to assume this to be the case, and to treat people accordingly, will likely see you on the wrong side of a sexist remark or judgement.

PAUSE FOR THOUGHT…

When we think about sexism and society, what examples can you think of that uphold and perpetuate patriarchal norms?

What types of toys are advertised to children?

Do you still start an email as “Dear Sirs” if you’re unsure who you’re sending it to?

Who does most of the unpaid housework/caring responsibilities in your family unit?

Sexism and Language

Our language reflects who we are. The words we use, both publicly and privately, carry weight, and signal to those around us what we stand for.  If I had a penny for every time I’d heard the words “it was just banter” I’d be writing this newsletter on a solid gold typewriter! But we don’t come up with our go-to phrases and witty one-liners in isolation. We learn them from each other and the media we consume. When I listen to my nephew speak, I can hear the words of Jeremy Clarkson wringing in my ears!! (but that’s a conversation for another day…)

My point is, that we really need pay attention to the media, how we consume gendered language without questioning it, and how we take what we have learned and send it back out again, to be consumed by those around us.

For example, when rape is discussed in the news, there will of course be (quite rightly) the condemnation of sexual assault. But how often will those same stories also feature details about what a woman was wearing, whether she had been drinking or not, or if she was out walking alone. When a woman is harmed it can usually be expected there will be some form of victim blaming that will go hand-in-hand with it.

Except the same media is also peddling endless adverts to encourage women look younger, sexier, healthier, slimmer… the list is endless. Make sure you’re sexy, but not too sexy. Make sure you’re thin, but not too thin. Get some cream on those wrinkles, but grow old gracefully.

Women cannot win.

Which brings me to…

Sexism and Intersectionality

Women cannot win. Especially when those women decide to express themselves in a way that doesn’t fall in line with the Eurocentric expectations of women’s presentation… Muslim women who cover up “too much” are seen as suspicious and a threat – have a read of the #HandsOffMyHijab movement.

Women and not any one thing. We are the combination of all the aspects of our identities. Therefore, sexism doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is a dish that is usually served complete with a side order or racism, homophobia, transphobia, islamophobia, ableism, ageism, and all other “ists” and “isms”.

Remember, it’s all about maintaining that system of oppression and control.

But sexism also harms men.

Remember the rape example I gave previously, and how often women are victim blamed. Well that is just for the women who come forward, many women won’t speak up because of the fear of judgement or not being believed. The same is true for the many men who experience rape and sexual assault too, especially at the hands of a woman. This is where sexism bites twice.

Sexism is catastrophic for everyone.

And if you want even more evidence, check out this TEDx talk by Julia Hardy – How Sexism Affects us all. She is highly entertaining – and bang on point.

So next time you hear what might be a slightly cringey sexist comment or joke, I want you to have a think about what the greater impact might be of allowing that behaviour to slide.

And then don’t. Speak up, walk away, do something.

Because doing nothing never solved anything.

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