Is being a good person harming inclusion?

I spend a lot of time talking about stepping out of our comfort zones and curiosity for learning. You’ll also know that I love talking to you about creating environments that are fair, equitable and inclusive in a way that is right for you and your organisation.

And most of the time all of this comes back to our human desire to want to do the right thing.

But how often do we ask ourselves, the right thing for who?

Because often my desire to do the right thing is actually more about my need to be a good person, or more accurately, my need to be considered to be a good person. When, if we’re being honest, doing the right thing really ought to be about what is in the best interests of all people, and not just ourselves.

Sometimes, doing that thing might mean making a mistake. Saying the wrong thing. Doing something that makes us feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, or like we might stand out from the crowd. Doing the right thing will usually involve challenging some of our own deeply held beliefs or assumptions to understand what it is that is really needed. And I mean really needed. And not limited to the small list of possibilities that our own perspective can conjure for us.

So, what happens when we’re faced with the option of doing the right thing, but it comes with the possibility of making a mistake or standing alone? Again, if we’re being honest, we will likely do nothing. We opt for the comfort of silence, and the self-preservation of our goodness over the need for change, discomfort, and growth.

So, how do we create space to make mistakes, when we’re totally committed to goodness?

I really enjoyed this post on LinkedIn by Lewis Wedlock on this very topic – The Goodness Fallacy.

I love how Lewis talks about “walking the path to meet and acknowledge the messiness of our humanity” because for me this a key and critical part of our work as allies. Understanding the messiness of humanity and learning to embrace that within ourselves.

Acknowledging we have the privilege to protect our goodness, and still choosing to lean into vulnerability and discomfort is leadership, and allyship. No matter your position.

Because ultimately none of us is all good, or all bad. We are all simply human. Flawed, real, incredible humans. Isn’t it time we started to value all of that which makes us so brilliant, and not only the shiny bits we want to put on display for likes?

So why not try something different? Embrace your capacity to “do” good for others, over “being” good for yourself.

PAUSE FOR THOUGHT

Role model courageous allyship

When was the last time you changed your behaviour because you were worried (consciously or unconsciously) about putting your foot in it?

What would have been different if you hadn’t?